if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Randomize