ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
