you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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