im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
