ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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