Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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