So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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