Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
