he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
even my farts smell like vagina
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize