He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
