HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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