Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Randomize
