At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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