Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
The uberlube is also flammable
not ubering you a puppy
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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