my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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