She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I'm both gender and math confused
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
