I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
