im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
