Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
She bit a glass in half.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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