I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
