Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
