trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
