It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
