i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
