so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
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