my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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