Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize
