i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
3pm strippers are depressing
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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