I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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