apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
