Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
