Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
