Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Randomize
