So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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