you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
