the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
You need a sexual gate keeper
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
