Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
