dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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