it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
it's like heaven, but drunker
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
