guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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