Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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