Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
