I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Can I color on your dick again?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
