one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
If its not for food we ain't going out.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
