you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
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