Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
They have beer where we have blood.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize