There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
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