I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
