He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i think i have herpe
just one?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Randomize
