Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
