did you get engaged???
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
