oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
