I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize