I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize