Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
you mean i was at the winter classic?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
