i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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