i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
