good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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