I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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